2 more reviews by Monaco in Texte zur Brunst and the artworld is saved

As MONACO enters the room, the curator / gallery owner is already offering his point
of view on the show – which he described as related to “the history of the world” and
based on the basic “relationship between man and machine”. High stakes, thought I, but
was surprisingly surprised as I learned how he went about describing the reason for his
humble interpretation… stay tuned in for the next paragraph of my first critique.
Now.
* The gallery is a venture funded by the curators fathers dirt money, who is, as his son
himself told me “A Tycoon. He owns the god damn building, ah what am I saying the
whole fucking city.” which clan, gang or union his father belongs to, stays yet to be
researched. The quote he wanted to make sure, to find printed in the article I gladly offer
here in Times New Roman, Size 16, Bold, Underlined: “I LOVE Robbie
Williams, blow jobs every morning for that guy, he is a
fucking prodigy of sound, not even music, sound, you hear
me.”
On the question why every piece in the show was square in shape and mentality, even
the condom falling out of his pocket as he read the introduction, he stated: “shape
maybe, but mentality, look at this here [pointing to Kelleys piece] its post-internet!”
“ Post? Internet? You mean like email?”
“whatever its the newest thing?” and wanders off.
* Two portraits, of each a brown jacketed man, who curiously enough were looking in
the same direction (away from the wall with the closest proximity to them) fixed on a
wooden frame, the size of a Samsung UE65JS8590 Curved SUHD-TV was the newest
piece of artist ASHLADIVLI I couldn’t help but notice the expressions of joy and
togetherness in the faces of the models, the right of which was the artists belated
boyfriend, who just broke up with him the afternoon before the opening. ASHLADIVLI
stated the work was about connectivity and the “manure of potential”, but secretly
offered me that the key to his production was after all “ the simple, black-and-whitekind-
of-recognition, is it good or bad, do you like it or not”. Forced into diplomacy – A
statement would make me too much of an accomplice here, I offered “recognition is a
poor mans purse”. Which he replied with the threat to have this be his last exhibition.
More of which we have yet to hope for.
* In the center of the better lit part of the room a 2m tall rectangular wooden cube frame
offers space for more pieces to be fixed on (FLORIAN INC), or leaned against (SU
LONG). Under construction? Or a sculptural intervention from the frame-makers of the
show? At the entrance to the wooden cube hangs FLORIAN INC. framed piece of scarf
that belonged to his friend Genevieve from Paris, which he had nicked away from her in
the 1980s, in a time of “exuberance of expression” (more like “exuberance of
exhaustion”), away from her birthmark of neoliberalism, and now sensually, to finally
and hopefully end his object-based career stapled it on 4 sticks of matchwood, that
would have found a better use in warming the place up. Only compliment I heard about
him all evening was that his haircolor matched the color of his jacket, offered by the
fashion blogger and obnoxinado Sebastian from bullshit@blogspot.com, (whos
psychoanalyst is, yet again (?), ai wai wai (is that the reason for his outspoken
advocacy of DNA control and blood-tests (not a fan of vincent gallo, but blow jobs
(another theme of the exhibition) Sebastian is an outspoken racist and geo-ist, he
doesnät only “hate the entire continent of Asia” he even claims to not find anything
attractive that wears the color black)))
* Su Longs (born 1996) leaned spider-silk veil, with a not, dutch-ly draped over a wood
frame reminded on Poco Domänes summer curtain collection from 2012, which reintroduces
theme and sponsors of the show: German corporations at the brink of
nervous breakdown. Long herself testifies that “[she] might have more qualities of a
wife then of an artist”
“married to whom” I want to know.
“whatever, collectors? I talked to a collector, he didn’t give me a prize or anything…”
but the assurance that “it is important to stop making things that are remotely tangible”
and that long has achieved miraculously. The piece doesn’t look like anything, the least
it looks like the money it must have cost her, to buy and raise all those cashmerespiders,
that she secretly held at the candy packaging factory where Long worked for the
last 14 years.
To the question why three artists are represented in the show with see-through, semitransparent
fabric. She looked at me surprised, , then angry, then tried to change the
subject.
A fetish of the curator? Is thinner fabric cheaper then thicker?
* Another artist who’s piece wasn’t half as entertaining as his explanation was Brian
Number. Whose left food paintings of apocalyptic proportions were directly
communicating in particular with Schwarzenegger second term as Governer of
California. His invitation for marriage in search of a passport, I had to turn down but
advised him to leave Germany as long as he can still paint with his left foot.
All in all I must say it was a pretty bloated show, I can recommend the reader to go to
the next opening of the gallery they have free drinks and the brawls between the two
owners are hilarious to watch.
MONACO

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